I'm Forgetting How to Use Technology

Sorry it's been so long since I posted, I was too busy watching Prison Break in August when I was last at a computer. That show is seriously addicting! Some people are wondering how I get television and movies. We have a house in our provincial capital where we can stay 3 nights a month. We have a massive movie collection here and we can buy pirated tv shows right here in Chipata! So we like to come for a few days, relax, watch movies, cook with an oven, drink refridgerated drinks, sit on a couch.

Since I last wrote... I got a new bicycle, it's shiny and red and I've gotten really pretty decent at riding it. I no longer fall off from my terrible sense of balance every time I have to stop - and I'm feeling pretty powerful and awesome when I go on my bushpath rides. The other day I almost got stormed by some fighting bulls and had to do some pretty creative riding so i didn't get gored! Also one time I hit a piglet. It happens.

I've gotten a lot more comfortable with hitchhiking. On my way to Lusaka for our week-long training in August, my friend and I rode in the front of a pickup with a 65ish white Zambian man who was going to pick up his wife. We had such a great conversation with him about the history of the land and people in Eastern Province and we talked about rendering hippo fat, hunting elephants and battling lions. He told us about his gold mining hobby and his children and playing around in the bush as a little boy. Then we met his wife and we rode the rest of the way into the city with her driver and her nephew, an effeminate goth of the late 1990's style (including glittery claires keychains draped all over his body) who was a contestant on South African Idol. Also in hitching i've had a lot of conversations with city zambians who have no idea how I manage to live in the village. They are always very impressed with us. They can't believe we can manage without running water or electricity or in a mud house.

Speaking of house, we built my kitchen: a separate round mud/grass structure where I can cook during the rains without getting carbon monoxide poisoning by trying to burn charcoal in my house. Also, we are painting my house with mud and ash to make a pretty black, white and red design. I'm going to put cement on the floors soon to try and make a dent on my vast ant problem. And I sleep on a flat, wooden bed now which is wonderful. I built a garden, which was really fun and I've got squash, lettuce, carrots. The lettuce has been soooo good. It's too hot for the squash, so it's all dying and the carrots arent ready yet. Sometimes I feel like i'm just playing house.

So we had a training in Lusaka for a week which was great because I got to see all my friends I hadn't seen since April, and we got to go out to restaurants and take city transport and become more familiar with Lusaka. While we were there the President of Zambia died after suffering a stroke, which was a very sad day for everyone because he was a very popular president. There was a long period of mourning, parades and viewings of the body. Now there is going to be elections in October. It's all really interesting to watch. The schools have stations set up for people who've lost their voter cards and everyone is amazed that I can still vote for the American President from here in Zambia!

On our last night in Lusaka we stayed at the Intercontinental Hotel, which is really really swanky. So obviously we rolled up filthy in a minibus and they offered us champagne flutes of guava juice with beautiful fruit decorations and a green sugar crystal rim. Then we rode in an elevator for the first time in 6 months - it blew our minds. The room had a hairdryer (!!!) and the shower had massager settings. There was a button on the phone that said "instant service" so I pressed it and ordered some wine glasses and we sat in the room all night drinking south african wine we bought at the gas station, eating onion dip and watching the olympics. It was fantastic.

Work-wise I've had a lot going on. I've got a lot of different clubs starting up including home-based care, orphan support, girls life skills and anti-aids. I've been doing some more hilarious hiv info sessions for the teenagers. I'm working on trying to find some more accessible water for one of my villages and we want to try and get a maternity ward built. Everything goes really slowly. The club meetings can be painful because mostly they just want money and/or things from me, and they don't usually know what they want - they just want to start a club because they think they should. Then they ask me for ideas. There's a real lack of creativity and imagination - it's just something most villagers have never really had an opportunity to tap into. People do what they've always done, and trying to branch out ain't easy.

A couple weeks ago I went to a huge cultural ceremony in Katete. I live with the Chewa people, who are based in Eastern Province, Malawi and Mozambique. The Paramount Chief lives here, so at this ceremoney, called Kulamba, all the chiefs from the 3 countries attend, as well as important political leaders, headmen, and ceremonial dancers. There are also representatives of other nearby tribes to pay respects. There are lots of speeches, gift giving ceremonies, dancing, and TONS of drunk people selling shit. It was a madhouse. But interesting.

It's starting to get really hot. I'll keep you posted on how I manage. Also, a reminder that mail is really really awesome, even if it's a note or a postcard or a magazine or a piece of american candy. seriously. I will respond to absolutely everything.

and now for the books (i don't know if you guys think this is interesting, but books are my entertainment and what i'm reading can have a big impact on what i'm thinking): Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert; Jemima J. - Jane Green; The Bean Trees - Barbara Kingsolver; Sickened - Julie Gregory; The Ginger Tree - Oswald Wynd; Secret Society Girl - Diana Peterfreund; Pigs in Heaven - Barbara Kingsolver; How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accent - Julia Alvarez; Beloved - Toni Morrison; Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas - Tom Robbins; Killing Yourself to Live - Chuck Klosterman; Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov; My Horizontal Life - Chelsea Handler; Reading Lolita in Tehran - Azar Nafisi; Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea - Chelsea Handler; The Tuesday Erotica Club - Lisa Beth Kovitz; Smashed: the Story of a Drunken Girlhood - Koren Zailckas; I was Told There'd be Cake - Sloane Crosley; Pompeii - Robert Harris; New Moon - Stephenie Meyer; Eclipse - Stephenie Meyer; Snow Flower and the Secret Fan - Lisa See; Waltzing the Cat - Pam Houston; The Law of Similars - Chris Bohjalian; Animal Dreams - Barbara Kingsolver.

Whew, but seriously I work too guys, I'm not just reading.

Let's Talk About Food Baby!

Ok, so I did some work! I haven't just been reading lately and it's pretty exciting. Since last time I've had some interesting transport, some bike problems, visits, and more! I hitched a ride with my bicycle for the first time, which was interesting, but not as bad as i thought, and I stayed with my friend Liz in her village for a few days. It's the opposite of my place, in that she has no fence and is seriously surrounded by people all the time! They all call me Grace in her village, and I made fritters there so now her village bugs her about cooking all the time. Then for the 4th of July she came to visit me, we cooked an read and that's about it. It was great!

Also my tastebuds are no longer as sophisticated as they once were, so all those fancy gourmet chocolates people send me, i can't eat plain - so i put them in pancakes! It's a wonderful diet.

Have you ever noticed that those people mags, us weeklys, etc, are FULL of advertisements for food? Seriously, I think i spend more time looking at the food ads than I do reading about tori spelling. It's a little sad.

I had a program at a basic school. It was excellent! I went one day for the girls grades 8-9 (ages 14-18~) and a female teacher helped me with translations. I did about 15 minutes of HIV basics and then they asked questions about sex and relationships for 2 hours. Lots of questions that seem inappropriate, and made me blush for sure! But, because there isn't really a way for them to ask all those questions within their culture, it's great that they can ask me, because in a lot of ways I exist outside the culture. Then I came back the next day for the boys, which I was a lot more nervous about - but they STORMED the classroom they were so excited. I was there more than 2 hours answering all their questions, and had so much fun. After I left, 1 boy had a camera so they all wanted to pose for pictures with me. As I was biking home, it was dusk, I was going downhill past cows and goats and masked traditional dancers beating drums, and I was just on SUCH a high. Then i sat on my porch, had a glass of wine, and took a bucket bath, and thought, "this is my life." it was great. Then a couple days later my cell phone got stolen. fantastic.

Books I've read since last time: Clan of the Cave Bear - Jean Auel, The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger, The Pursuit of Love and Love in a Cold Climate - Nancy Mitford, The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini, Water for Elephants - Sara Gruen, The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver, Shoe Addicts Anonymous - Beth Harbison, Getting Stoned With Savages - J. Maarten Troost, Empire Falls - Richard Russo, The Joy Luck CLub - Amy Tan, Twilight - Stephenie Meyer, About a Boy - Nick Hornby

Carnivale

I'm in Chipata again, for our provincial meeting. Which consisted of a meeting, movies, and a carnival. The party was, shall we say, ridiculous. But that was great - we all know i love a good theme party. Also I feel rejuvenated from being around all the volunteers. I got to hear everyone's good stories, bad stories, complaints, frustrations, and it's nice to talk about all that stuff. Although I'm sick, so I haven't been at top-form, but things are still nice right now.

I'm not entirely sure what to write about this time. things in the village have been mostly the same. I've been attempting some "trail running" on days when I feel ok. I don't like running on the "road" because there are so many people, and running is just not something that happens here. So I have found some paths through the fields. Usually when I'm out people wave or yell at me, and the women usually laugh. The crazy white girl running, in pants, and actual shoes, in the heat of the afternoon, is a pretty crazy sight. Sometimes kids follow me, which I hate, since running is a good alone time with your brain (because I don't have enough alone time with my brain.) The other day i came home, and annoying iwes (kids) were in my yard, and i wanted to do my stretches. They thought it was hilarious - particularly the jumping jacks!

My neighbor came over to teach me how to make nsima. That's the thick cornmeal porridge that you use to pick up food. They eat it at least twice a day here, and don't think a meal is complete without it. They are all mystified at the fact that I don't eat it very often. So I showed her how I make cabbage (by dumping it in a wok with curry powder and pepper) and she said "ah, but us, we like too much salt."

I've read a lot more books: Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously by Julie Powell, The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton, The Language Instinct by Steven Pinker, The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon, You Suck: A Love Story by Christopher Moore

my brain is melting

ok, you know that line in mean girls where lindsey lohan says about the plastics "if Northshore were US weekly, they would always be on the cover."? well, if sinda were US weekly, I would always be on the cover (or my "neighbor" lashaya). I am the Britney Spears of Sinda. Sometimes I thank heavens that no one here can afford a camera otherwise they would constantly take pictures of me! The headmaster of the school has a camera - I had to pose with his children during a long jump competition. In the "Stars - they're just like us!" column there would be phrases like "They Eat Groundnuts!" (groundnuts are peanuts, the "they" is americans) "They've heard of okra!" "Their bikes get flat tires!" There would be a feature article incorrectly analyzing my reading material with a long lens blurry photograph as evidence. They would see a blue hardcover book and decide it was a bible, then would be a side panel that gave advice on which church would be best for me. (the blue book was actual Anthony Bourdain's "A Cook's Tour" it was torture to read) The cover story would read "Kelly sick with Malaria! - Why is the health volunteer so unhealthy?" I don't actually have malaria. I have a cold, and infected feet, and some tummy issues. In short, I never want to be famous. I hate that everyone knows everything about me, that I have to say hello and be friendly to everyone - the minute I ignore a child's shout of "Bwanji!" (and here I should mention that they are usually hidden 25 yds from the path behind a tree so i can't even see them), the whole community will think i'm a bitch. I get special treatment everywhere I go. I always have to sit with the men, which sucks because they usually want to know why I'm not marrying a black man (= african man) and/or whether I'll take them to america. People laugh at everything I say, no matter what language I use - as I walk away I can hear the imitations. they give me food all the time - food i don't want, can't refuse, and that they need. Everyone wants to sell me stuff. The other day I bought 2 buns (rolls) from the tuck shop (dark, "convenience" store with overpriced lotion and matches behind the counter) and all the kids who follow me were snickering "only 2! last time she bought 3!" Seriously, I know how Paris Hilton feels.

In other news I've been very up and down since I arrived at site. At first I thought "wow! these people are awesome, totally motivated, on the ball, excited, friendly. It's beautiful, warm, what's not to like?" Although I should mention that my first night I was so intimidated I just sat on my floor eating yogurt. It was rough. But then I jumped right in. I had meetings (truly awful affairs where I can only understand when they are talking about money because they use english numbers, and then I'm expected to say something magical and smart, but end up saying "my name is kerry and i come from america"), I cooked, I "organized" my house (I have no furniture), I met people, I started to figure things out. Now I just feel lonely and unhappy. I don't leave my house very often. I cook fabulous things and I have no one to share them with. Everytime I go to a new place I have to endure hours of people staring and laughing at me. It's rough - and i'm glad to be in chipata for a few days.

I've seen Nyau dancing. It's a cultural thing the Chewas do for entertainment all the time. Nyau's are secret dancers that wear scary masks and loincloths and carry big sticks so they can threaten to beat the children. i see them in the day recruiting women to sing and scaring kids and then when they dance the kids are magically less afraid, despite the fact that the Nyau's "handlers" keep trying to keep the kids back. I learned Chitumwali, the erotic dance that only women who are of age know. I sat in a small hut with about 25 topless women of varying ages, their breastfeeding infants, and drums. They were impressed with my hip isolation skills (thank you, bellydance). It was an interesting day. i have a chewa name: Chisomo Phiri. Chisomo means Grace so they usually call me that. Phiri is practically everybody's last name. The traditional birth attendents gave me that name since Kelly Buckmen is very difficult for them to say. I can carry 20L of water on my head.

Horrifying Story: My 7th night I woke up COVERED in ants at 2am. My bed was a mattress on top of a reed mat - and my house is made of mud. It was awful. I sprayed doom all over - then nearly died of fume inhalation. The next day my neighbor mr. Phiri (who has at least 9 kids, unknown # of wives, a motorcycle and lives and works in clinic houses, but I don't think he's employed by the government, he's just "in charge") stole me a metal bedframe from his eldest son. At first I felt bad, but then I thought "fuck it" that kid lives in a concrete house with a tin roof, is a boy and is used to it!

He's a list of awesome things I've cooked on my coal brazier: butternut squash stew and couscous, sweet and sour fried rice, indian frybread with spicy beans, corn tortillas with beans cabbage, thai stir fry with green beans, curry mac and cheese, fritters, fried bananas and nutella, butter curry lentils with cabbage, and the classic fried egg.

For entertainment I read. I've read 2 national enquirers, 3 us weeklys, 2 stars, cosmo, The Other Boleyn Girl, Opening the Buddhist Heart, Anybody Out There by Marian Keyes, One Hundred Years of Solitude, 4 Blondes by candace bushnell, A Cook's Tour, and Size 12 is Not Fat by Meg Cabot. I also attempt drawing and i'm not too shabby at watercolor. I do all this in my yard behind the relative privacy of my grass fence on my reed mat. Everyday at 5 i listen to Border Crossings on Voice of America and then the BBC, then i go to sleep.

My Address:
Kerry Beckman
Private bag 4
Sinda, Zambia
Africa

send letters! i have plenty of time to write back to you!

also i miss everyone immensely.

I'm about to move!!

So I'm moving to my village on Tuesday. I'll be arriving in a landcruiser full of stuff, and then i will look around, be in shock, set up my mosquito net and try to cook some dinner. and also drink some wine. haha, but seriously it's going to be extremely overwhelming. I've heard that my community is really excited to see me. My village is in the most beautiful district. It's called Sinda. It's not on most maps of Zambia because it didn't use to be a district! But it's between Katete and Petauke in Eastern Province if you are curious. There are tons of fabulous rock formations all over and sunflower fields, rolling hills, lilypad ponds and flowers. It's awesome. I live next to my clinic. I'm not sure where my phone reception is but I'll find it eventually! I have a 2 room hut, a cooking mpala (round covered outdoor space for cooking and entertaining guests), a pit latrine, and a bathing shelter made of grass. It's also really close to the basic school, a boarding school and an orphanage so I'll have lots of groups of kids I can try to work with! There are also a lot of football fields nearby so hopefully I can play with people.

I'm pretty nervous about getting moved in. This time is called community entry and I will have to spend 3 months in my village getting to know people, learning the ropes of the area, figuring out who wants to work with me, developing a schedule, and just learning how to live in general! It's gonna be really intense, but I can do it. I'll appreciate emails - i can check them on my phone! - and when I get my new address in Sinda I'll let you all know because I have tons of time to write letters.

For those of you who are curious my job entails doing health education with community organizations and at the clinic, working with and training neighborhood health committees, teaching people about the decentralized health care system here, and also being a link between the community and the district offices. It's mostly pretty vague for now, but once I have specific projects going I'll talk more about it.

My cooking skills are definitely improving. I've also found that it is a lot easier to "get low" when dancing since i've spent so much quality time squatting in a pit latrine! Right now I'm just hanging out in the PC house in Chipata, eating fantastic group meals, sleeping in a bed, showering when the water is on, watching movies when the electricity is on, shopping. I'll be back in Chipata in 3 weeks or so to do work visa stuff, so hopefully then I'll be able to tell you tons of stories about my first 3 weeks alone in the village!

lusaka morning!

so im in lusaka. we just spent about 900,000 kwacha on groceries for the week. yikes! but we're gonna eat good. we're going to katete in eastern province for our second site visit, which means im gonna get to see my new house and meet people in my village! then after that we just have 3 more weeks of training before we swear in! so i have to go, because i have a lot of eating to do before i leave the mall! im changing my address soon - i'll post it on facebook, and have my mom post it on here!

Here in Lusaka!

So I'm at the mall today and i'm going to post a little about my daily life. I went on a site visit a couple weeks ago in central province which was amazing and I basically spent the entire time going "I could totally live like this!" So then we moved to our homestays in Chongwe district, Lusaka province. I'm staying in the village of Kapamongoma. My family has 10 children ranging from the ages of 5 - 35ish. Most of them live at the house, some of the older ones also have a bunch of children living there, so basically i live with a ton of people. We also have 13 goats, a bunch of chickens and roosters, 2 oxen, 2 tiny skinny dogs, and a cat. A lot of the neighbors have pigs and cows too. Everyday I wake up around 6:15, take a bucket bath, eat breakfast (eggs or bread or scones), and go to class. I have class basically 6 days a week from 8-5. most days i have language, some days I have class with everyone, where we talk about culture stuff, and i draw pictures and do sudoku. It's a lot of class. We drink cold beer when we can. Then I bike home on a dirt path, greeting everyone along the way. I eat dinner in my hut because my family won't let me be outside with the mosquitos and then i go to bed around 8:30. It's great.

Also, it's completely gorgeous, the sky is amazing - so many stars. and most days it's just surreal that this is my life. Although i can't wait for training to be over so I can move to eastern province and do my own schedule!

Muli Bwanji?!

that means how are you in my new language, nyanja. this means i will be based in eastern province. a few of my friends are going there too. I'm off to a site visit tomorrow in central province until saturday to see what the lifestyle is like. I have an internet phone. the number is 0976862401, you will have to dial a country code, and possibly drop the 0. i really dont know. just look it up! but hopefully i will be able to email fairly frequently! it depends on my service though. anyways, all is good. its hot, and beautiful and ive seen hundreds of spiders and some geckos, but no snakes yet.

peace out!

SO i'm leaving in 1.5 hours. I'll be in DC for 3 days, which I'm really excited for. I haven't really told people about that though. So if you are in DC and reading this, I will be available in the evenings, but I don't really know my schedule.

Also, I'm so nervous and stressed out. and I have a cold. I'm nervous my bags will be overweight or they won't arrive or something bad will happen. I'm nervous that I'm in over my head, or that I'll hate it, or I don't even know. That's the thing, I just don't know. It's impossible to really know what to expect. And I've read some extremely eloquent posts about peoples reasons for leaving, and I'm sorry but I just don't have one right now. I'm nervous. I'm excited too, but due to the thousands of emotions fogging my brain, I can't explain it right now. All I can say is that I'm running late and I'm sure I have more last minute things to do before I leave!

the end/beginning is near.

so i'm leaving Tuesday afternoon. um yikes. I'm ever-so-slowly chipping away at things I need to do, but it still seems a little overwhelming. One thing that is easing the transition was that I had visitors last weekend! 3 of my future pc coworkers were in town for various reasons and we went to ethiopian, and then to the red door in fremont. aside from the general fun, ridiculousness, and a towing incident, it was just nice to meet people in person and build up a comfort level before we actually leave. We were able to talk about things we are nervous for, things that are frustrating for us in our preparations, etc. There are so many emotions that I switch back and forth between every day that no one can understand unless they are going through the same thing. I just have hundreds of questions that I can't even articulate, but they keep me up at night anyway. My nerves were definately calmed a little simply by knowing that I wasn't alone.

I think I have every meal planned before I leave. Kind of sad, but getting lots of food variety in is important! Justine made me chile rellenos, guacamole and cookies on Tuesday when I went down to visit with her and the kids. Despite the fact that she kept apologizing for sick kids and not much excitement, I enjoyed myself. i probably enjoyed myself even more than when we have wine-induced dance parties, because we got to just hang out, do homework, eat popsicles, go to afterschool activities. It was verey relaxing - except when we visited marina at middle school which was terrifying and crazy! SO many small children running around, calling us "really big 8th graders," grabbing at french fries, trying to flirt with girls twice their size. wow.

Coming up I have a lovely romantic valentine's with julia. first up: MAC makeovers (i'm totally nervous I'll have to spend the day with heinous blue eyeshadow and no eyebrows), then step up 2 the streets (which i'm excited for, give me a break), and then a 5 course moroccan meal, and delivering valentines to our bartenders. Tomorrow is definately errand day for most of the day, then happy hour with dad and cheryl. Saturday more errands with mom, followed by last homecooked meal, and my goodbye ballard bar crawl (look out!). Sunday is last minute things and then family dinner at dahlia lounge because I've been wanting to eat there for years. Monday is up in the air until hopefully a last sushi dinner - I can't go to africa without eating more eel!